Scared

I'm a little scared today and have been for the past couple of days. Why? Well because I have been feeling okay. I have made some great connections with people over the past few days via the inter-web, but I fear it will go away and disappear and I will again feel alone. I fear that I am only concentrating on these new connections and setting my other problems aside and letting them fester. But at the same time, what a relief it is to not feel so down for once. I still have yet to deal with HER and the letter she wrote, but maybe I don't need to. Deep down inside I feel I do. I am also scared today because I am going to meet the new therapist. i hate the idea of having to establish things all over again, but I really need to get this all right finally. I really need to deal with me. I am taking this all very seriously for the first time in my life. But I fear that because I am feeling okay right now that I won't have much to go over and it is the first visit. I don't know, but I was thinking at the very least to maybe let her know what my expectations of a therapist are and to try and give her a quick overview of my life and where I am at now, just so she has somewhere to start. But she's a professional right? She should be able to guide me to where I need to go. If you are a good therapist, you should be able to find the threads you need to pull on and direct the conversation accordingly. Ah, we shall see. I am okay today, just scared. Here's to feeling okay!! :) At least I have that.