Connecting with others and my Fears

I have been sitting on reddit's depression thread all morning reading and commenting on people's posts. I feel for these people so much, it seems to really be distracting me from my own issues. It is amazing how much I can care for people I don't even know just by hearing them reach out and talk about their feelings. I have found myself doing it a lot over the past couple of days and now I am sitting here feeling... Okay. Not good, not great, not, depressed, a little sad, but just okay. It is good to have this relief for a while. I am just fearful now. This is what the analytical brain is thinking...

• I am afraid that by distracting from my own issues that when I come back to them they will be even deeper and more painful.
• I fear that I am starting to misunderstand the things I am going through by trying to relate so much to others stories.
• I am afraid that I will start to empathize so much with others that I will start feeling pain for them. Obviously brought on by my deep feeling heart.
• But I think my biggest fear is that I am doing the same thing I seem to do in every relationship I have ever been in, friendship or otherwise, and that is trying to fix things.

I say this last fear as being the biggest fear because that seems to be what truly makes me feel better, finding something broken and being able to fix it. Even though I realize that commenting on these people's posts aren't fixing them, somewhere in the back of my head, I know that I wouldn't give up trying to help if they kept reaching out. It's as if I seem to be attracted to these type of people (and I am talking about "in real life" here, because I obviously sought out the broken and down by going to that sub-reddit). I don't even try to, but it seems to happen. Like they are following me or something (No, no, I am not paranoid. Just a metaphor of sorts. Wait.. Am I using that word right?). It's just been feeling good to reach out to others and hopefully make their days a little brighter. When I got home last night, I had seven messages in my reddit in-box. It was all these people responding to my replies and thanking me and telling me how much it meant to them that someone listened and cared. It put a genuine smile on my face, I haven't had one of those in a while. It's just another reminder of why I have this idea that connecting with people is what will eventually lead to true joy in my life. But I have another list of fears when it comes to that idea...

• Will I ever be able to truly connect to another?
• Will they be there for me when I need them, like I am for them?
• Will they love me as much as I love them?
• Can I trust that what I am feeling is real or am I just over analyzing these feelings and making them into something they are not?
• Can I keep up with these relationships? I have had a past history of having a difficult time keeping in touch with those I cared about, and then eventually feeling like they didn't care because they never called either so in some cases I would give up.
• I never have any true expectations, but I seem to sexualize every woman I meet (and I tend to only want to be around and talk to women because I don't relate to most men much at all. At least the ones I have met). Even the ones I am not attracted to, I think about weather or not I could get with her. I know deep down I don't see them that way, but I can't help that always being my first though and it bothers me. I have never been with a woman I didn't have some sort of feelings for. Correction, there was one. I tried to have feelings for her, but when I realized I didn't I broke it off. Always having to explain myself... That became a long fear... 
• I am sure there are more, but the train of thought left the station after that last one.

This is where I am at today. I am trying and still hanging in there. I am going to see a new therapist on Friday who will hopefully give me different perspective on everything and be able to help me focus on what I need to deal with. And then there is "her". I still miss her, and can't bring myself to read through the letter she sent again. I feel I need to respond, but what's the point. Oh there is so much to say about all that, not going to get into it right now. Right now, I am feeling better, I am going to try and embrace it for a while.